I AM LEARNING

I've heard it said that you are only old when you stop learning.

Most everyone's retirement dreams are to relax and have fun with friends and family and I'm just stuck here by myself.  Yes, I know I  am blessed with many dear friends, but I want to be able to come and go as I please; to be able to say on a whim that I think I'll do this or that or go here or there without having to consult someone else.

If you read the links in my second post, you learned that a part of my vestibular disorder is lack of balance in the dark.  According to my vestibular therapist, that cannot be remedied.  While on a visit with my son and his family, we all piled out of his vehicle in front of his house.  The headlights remained on for a moment, but when they went off, with no porch light to illuminate the way from the driveway to the door, I froze in place.  I felt like I was going to fall off a cliff.  Someone grabbed my arm and another ran inside to turn on the light.  That has happened a couple times so I never venture out after dusk and before dawn without someone to hold onto.

Another aspect of night-time imbalance happens when laying back in bed at night after all the lights have been turned off.  The glow of a night-light is not enough to prevent the feeling of falling back into a hole.  I have a bedside lamp, but just leaning up and back a bit to switch it off has the same result.  A dear friend gave me a remote switch which is on a cord that the lamp cord plugs into.  I drape it over the lamp during the day where it can be turned on upon entering the room and keep it under a pillow next to me at night where it can be turned off once I'm all settled in.   Problem solved...at least when I'm at home.  Someone suggested a "Clapper" which would work as well.

The more that I learn about the disorder, the more questions I have.  For instance, having refused at my doctor's recommendation, the evasive test to hopefully confirm the cause, I now wonder if there is still a neurotoma somewhere that hasn't been detected that may cause more damage.  I must pose that question to my neurotologist when I next meet with him.  Because mine is such a unique case, he cannot tell me with any assurance whether or not cochlear implants to improve word recognition will also improve my balance.   Because the implant actually bypasses the hearing/vestibular system, it is doubtful.